Vampire Chat Room
by Duck Life
Summary: i know I'm probably the millionth person to do this, but it looked like fun! All conversations are original, if the idea is not. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

RubberDucky: Bella

Mr. Awesomeness: Emmett

RosePetal: Rosalie

Confederate: Jasper

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Alice

VampireDude: Edward

RUBBERDUCKY IS ONLINE

VAMPIREDUDE IS ONLINE

OBSESSED SHOPPER IS ONLINE

VampireDude: Hello, Bella.

RubberDucky: Hi Edward! Hi Alice!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Bella, since you're online…can I come over and give you a make-over?

RubberDucky: NO!!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Bella, I'm hurt!

OBSESSED SHOPPER HAS LOGGED OFF

VampireDude: You really were quite rude to her.

RubberDucky: Well, she should know that I hate makeovers.

VampireDude: True.

MR.AWESOMENESS IS ONLINE

Mr. Awesomeness: Hey guys. I think Alice is going crazy.

Mr. Awesomeness: Again.

RubberDucky: EMMETT! Now _that's _rude.

VampireDude: What do you mean?

Mr. Awesomeness: She just drew a picture of Bella on a tree and then karate-chopped it in half.

VampireDude:…I should go.

VAMPIREDUDE HAS LOGGED OFF

MR.AWESOMENESS HAS LOGGED OFF

RubberDucky: …

RubberDucky: Now I'm all lonely!

RUBBERDUCKY HAS LOGGED OFF


	2. Chapter 2

Mr. Awesomeness: Emmett

Soccer Mom: Esme

Dr. Dad: Carlisle

SOCCER MOM IS ONLINE  
DR.DAD IS ONLINE  
MR.AWESOMENESS IS ONLINE

Soccer Mom: Well, this certainly is interesting.

Dr. Dad: Yes. It's so hard to keep up with technology these days!

Soccer Mom: I know!

Dr. Dad: I mean, why are we talking online if we're in the same house?

Soccer Mom: I don't know.

MR. AWESOMENESS IS ONLINE

Mr. Awesomeness: Yo! Vampire dawg in the house!

Soccer Mom: Emmett, we're all vampires.

Mr. Awesomeness: OMG! IDK, I thought I was da only 1!!

Dr. Dad: What?

Mr. Awesomeness: LOL, u don't no txt tlk. ROFL!!

MR. AWESOMENESS HAS LOGGED OFF

Soccer Mom: What did he say?

Dr. Dad: I think he said, "Lingering on life, you don't know tax track. Rinse out floor laundry!!"

Soccer Mom: Now that makes no sense.

Dr. Dad: I no, OMG!!

DR. DAD HAS LOGGED OFF

SOCCER MOM HAS LOGGED OFF


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I do not own Veggie-tales, which is an awesome show and is where I got the Hairbrush song from.**

RubberDucky: Bella

RosePetal: Rosalie

Mr. Awesomeness: Emmett

Confederate: Jasper

VampireDude: Edward

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Alice

ROSEPETAL IS ONLINE

MR.AWESOMENESS IS ONLINE

CONFEDERATE IS ONLINE

VAMPIREDUDE IS ONLINE

OBSESSED SHOPPER IS ONLINE

RosePetal: AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

VampireDude: What's wrong, Rose?

Mr. Awesomeness: Yeah, did you forget the mirror wasn't real?

RosePetal: That was _one _time.

Confederate: Really, Rosalie, what's up?

Rosepetal: _Somebody_ stole my hairbrush!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Eek! I'll let you use mine.

OBSESSED SHOPPER HAS LOGGED OFF

RosePetal: That's not the point! I've had that hairbrush since my human years!

RUBBERDUCKY IS ONLINE

RubberDucky: Hey guys!

VampireDude: Hello, Bella!

Confederate: Hi Bella!

Mr. Awesomeness: 'Ello, Bells!

RosePetal: Hello? Can we bring the spotlight back to me? I still don't know where my hairbrush is!

Mr. Awesomeness: grins

RosePetal: Oh no.

OBSESSED SHOPPER IS ONLINE

OBSESSED SHOPPER: I am _so _not missing this!

Mr. Awesomeness: _Oh where, is my hairbrush? Oh where, is my hairbrush? Oh, where oh where oh where oh where oh where…is my hairbrush._

OBSESSED SHOPPER: _I think I saw a hairbrush back there!_

Mr. Awesomeness: _Back there, is my hairbrush! Back there, is my hairbrush! Back there, back there, oh where, oh where, nowhere, nowhere, back there…is my hairbrush!_

ROSEPETAL HAS LOGGED OFF  
RUBBERDUCKY HAS LOGGED OFF  
VAMPIREDUDE HAS LOGGED OFF CONFEDERATE HAS LOGGED OFF


	4. Chapter 4

VampireDude: Edward

RubberDucky: Bella

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Alice

RUBBERDUCKY IS ONLINE

VAMPIREDUDE IS ONLINE

OBSESSED SHOPPER IS ONLINE

RubberDucky: Hi Edward!

VampireDude: Bella.

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Hi, Bella!

RubberDucky: Hey, Alice! :)

RubberDucky: Edward, why was Emmett looking all happy?

VampireDude: Bella, BELLA BELLA BELLA! Bella, Bella!

RubberDucky: EDWARD, STOP SAYING MY NAME! I'm right here!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Emmett dared him to go the whole day only saying your name.

RubberDucky: LOL!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Edward, try using different variations of Bella's name.

RubberDucky: Good idea!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: I saw myself come up with it.

VampireDude: Izzy?

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Is he what?

VampireDude: Belling.

OBSESSED SHOPPER: What?

VampireDude: 8 I--

RubberDucky: Ooh, ooh! That's a vampire!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Excuse me?

RubberDucky: I took an emoticons class in elementary school.

OBSESSED SHOPPER: So what's he saying?

VampireDude: Bella! Belling. Izzy Belling?

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Hunting?

VampireDude: :)

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Who? Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle…

VampireDude: :)

RubberDucky: Is Carlisle hunting?

VampireDude: Bella! :)

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Yeah.

VAMPIREDUDE HAS LOGGED OFF

OBSESSED SHOPPER: It must be frustrating for him to know so many words and only use one.

RubberDucky: My name is just a word to you! :(

RUBBERDUCKY HAS LOGGED OFF

OBSESSED SHOPPER: The malls await! _Bella,_ I'm _coming_!!

OBSESSED SHOPPER HAS LOGGED OFF


	5. Chapter 5

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Alice

RubberDucky: Bella

Mr. Awesomeness: Emmett

OBSESSED SHOPPER IS ONLINE  
RUBBERDUCKY IS ONLINE

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Hi Bella!

RubberDucky: Hi Alice!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: BFFs 4ever!!

RubberDucky: Virtual friendship bracelet! –o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o—

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Virtual hug! -O-

MR. AWESOMENESS IS ONLINE

Mr. Awesomeness: You guys are so geeky!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Emmett!

RubberDucky: Virtual hug, Emmett! -O-

OBSESSED SHOPPER: You can't virtually hug Emmett with those tiny arms! Emmett's huge! This is how you virtually hug Emmett: --O--

Mr. Awesomeness: Aww, shucks. Virtual hugs to both of you! --O--

RubberDucky: Can't…virtually…breath!

Mr. Awesomeness: I repeat: GEEKY!

MR. AWESOMENESS HAS LOGGED OFF

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Bella,

RubberDucky: No.

OBSESSED SHOPPER: But-

RubberDucky: NO!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Hmphh.

OBSESSED SHOPPER HAS LOGGED OFF  
RUBBERDUCKY HAS LOGGED OFF


	6. Chapter 6

VampireDude: Edward

RubberDucky: Bella

Dr. Dad: Carlisle

Soccer Mom: Esme

VAMPIREDUDE IS ONLINE

RUBBERDUCKY IS ONLINE

RubberDucky: I missed you Eddie-kins!

VampireDude: I love you, but please don't call me that.

RubberDucky: Kay.

VampireDude: I missed you too.

RubberDucky: Can I come over tonight?

VampireDude: Yes, Bella. Why?

RubberDucky: Watch.

VampireDude: What- oh. Alice is here.

RubberDucky: Yup.

VampireDude: It's Alice! I stole the computer. You're coming over tonight?

RubberDucky: Well, I sort of just said that for your reaction…

VampireDude: Too late! I have all of the make-up ready!

RubberDucky: Edward, help!

VampireDude: Hehxdfnhkjhgfiuytr

RubberDucky: WHAT?

VampireDude: Sorry, love. I had to steal back the computer.

RubberDucky: Oh.

VampireDude: I love you.

RubberDucky: I love _you._

SOCCER MOM IS ONLINE  
DR. DAD IS ONLINE

Dr. Dad: Hey, kids!

Soccer Mom: Hello, Bella!

VampireDude: Um-heh heh…

RubberDucky: So, as I was saying, Edward…

VampireDude: Yeah, homework was on page 207…

Dr. Dad: Good to see you kids caring about schoolwork. There're a lot of people who come on here just to flirt, but you guys are doing something educational!

VampireDude: Maybe I should come over to help you with that homework.

RubberDucky: Yeah, good idea!

RUBBERDUCKY HAS LOGGED OFF

VAMPIREDUDE HAS LOGGED OFF

Soccer Mom: Did you _really _fall for that???

Dr. Dad: No.


	7. Chapter 7

RosePetal: Rosalie

Confederate: Jasper

RubberDucky: Bella

ROSEPETAL IS ONLINE

CONFEDERATE IS ONLINE

Rosepetal: Dang. I thought I was alone.

Confederate: Why would you go on a chat room and be alone?

RosePetal: It makes me feel like I'm the only one with something important to say.

Confederate: You already think that.

Rosepetal: Oh yeah.

ROSEPETAL HAS LOGGED OFF

RUBBERDUCKY IS ONLINE

RubberDucky: Hi, Jasper!

Confederate: Hey, Bella. Wait, why are you all excited that I'm here?

RubberDucky: Nothing, just wondering if you'd catch that.

Confederate: Quit playing with our gifts. It's not funny.

RubberDucky: …

Confederate: I said QUIT IT! Stop being all sad or I'll…I'll…

RUBBERDUCKY HAS LOGGED OFF

Confederate: I need anger management classes. Too bad I can't calm myself down. Oh, and now I'm typing to myself. Must be coming down with something.

CONFEDERATE HAS LOGGED OFF


	8. Chapter 8

RubberDucky: Bella

VampireDude: Edward

Mr. Awesomeness: Emmett

RUBBERDUCKY IS ONLINE

VAMPIREDUDE IS ONLINE

MR. AWESOMENESS IS ONLINE

Mr. Awesomeness: Yo. Let's crash Burger King.

VampireDude: Why?

RubberDucky: 'Cause it'll be fun!

VampireDude: But we'll get in trouble.

Mr. Awesomeness: You're no fun, Edward!

RubberDucky: Yeah.

Mr. Awesomeness: Edward is boring! Edward is boring!

RubberDucky: Edward is boring! Edward is boring! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

VampireDude: Stop it, stop it! I AM NOT BORING!

VAMPIREDUDE HAS LOGGED OFF  
OBSESSED SHOPPER IS ONLINE

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Why do I see Edward crashing Burger King? That's not like him.

Mr. Awesomeness: We just played the awesomest prank in all of history! Mwahahahahaha!

RubberDucky: We tricked Edward into crashing Burger King.

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Bwahahahahahaha!

Mr. Awesomeness: My evil laugh is so much better than yours!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Is not!

Mr. Awesomeness: Is too!

RUBBERDUCKY HAS LOGGED OFF


	9. Chapter 9

Mr. Awesomeness: Emmett

RosePetal: Rosalie

VampireDude: Edward

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Alice

MR. AWESOMENESS IS ONLINE  
ROSEPETAL IS ONLINE  
VAMPIREDUDE IS ONLINE

Mr. Awesomeness: LOL. I'm bored-ical. I have nothing to talk about.

RosePetal: Then why are you on here?

Mr. Awesomeness: Weren't you listening??? I'm bored!

VampireDude: We could go hunting.

Mr. Awesomeness: Not hungry.

VampireDude: Play baseball?

Mr. Awesomeness: Don't wanna.

VampireDude: Arm wrestle?

Mr. Awesomeness: Nah.

VampireDude: FISHING?

OBSESSED SHOPPER IS ONLINE

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Whatever you do, don't take Emmett fishing.

VampireDude: Why not?

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Bella loves her father.

VampireDude: See? I knew you were thirsty!

Mr. Awesomeness: I don't feel like hunting.

VampireDude: WHAT IS UP WITH YOU?

Mr. Awesomeness: Not much. I'm really tall.

VampireDude: I don't get it! You're taking idioms literally, you're completely bored, tired, thirsty…

OBSESSED SHOPPER: OMG!

VampireDude: Oh…

Mr. Awesomeness: What? What's wrong?

VampireDude: Emmett, you have-you have…

OBSESSED SHOPPER: THE BUBONIC PLAGUE OF VAMPIRES!!!

RosePetal: Augh! Log off, log off, it's contagious!

ROSEPETAL HAS LOGGED OFF

Mr. Awesomeness: I didn't think you could spread viruses online.

VampireDude: You can't.

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Rosalie's being a bit of a dumb blond today…

Mr. Awesomeness: Wait, so I'm sick? Should I see Carlisle?

VampireDude: Sure.

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Make sure you tell him exactly what you have, with an ominous tone.

Mr. Awesomeness: Okay!

MR. AWESOMENESS HAS LOGGED OFF

VampireDude: Yes!!! Finally got him back!

OBSESSED SHOPPER: LOLROFL! 'Bubonic Plague of Vampires'? Only Emmett would believe that!

VampireDude: And Rosalie…

OBSESSED SHOPPER: I told you, she's having a bad day.

VampireDude: What?

OBSESSED SHOPPER: She lost her hairbrush again.


	10. Chapter 10

RubberDucky: Bella

Mr. Awesomeness: Emmett/Edward

RosePetal: Rosalie

Confederate: Jasper

OBSESSED SHOPPER: Alice

VampireDude: Edward/Emmett

VAMPIREDUDE IS ONLINE  
RUBBERDUCKY IS ONLINE

RubberDucky: Edward, can't you please make me a vampire? I want to live with you forever.

VampireDude: Ya, c'mon ovr rite now & I will byt u!

RubberDucky: Emmett, quit logging on to Edward's account.

MR. AWESOMENESS IS ONLINE

Mr. Awesomeness: Two can play at that game, Emmett!

Mr. Awesomeness: And, by the way, Bella, that doesn't count. I'm still not going to bite you.

RubberDucky: Darn it.

VampireDude: Ed u r so oldfashnd! It's like u were brn in 1901 or somthng!

Mr. Awesomeness: I was.

VampireDude: Well xcuz me 4 nt rmbrng evry litl thing tht happns 2 u!

VAMPIREDUDE HAS LOGGED OFF

RubberDucky: If I'm not convincing you to bite me, then I'm out too.

RUBBERDUCKY HAS LOGGED OFF

ROSEPETAL IS ONLINE

RosePetal: Emmett! I was thinking tonight we could go hunting…under the moon…naked…

Mr. Awesomeness: Egad! Rosalie, I'm Edward. Emmett used my account so I logged on to his. And I'm I really didn't need that mental picture, as I can see it in your head anyway. Ew.

MR. AWESOMENESS HAS LOGGED OFF


	11. Chapter 11

RubberDucky: Bella

Mr. Awesomeness: Emmett

VampireDude: Edward

RUBBERDUCKY IS ONLINE  
MR. AWESOMENESS IS ONLINE

RubberDucky: Hi, Emmett!

Mr. Awesomeness: Hi iz gr8 2 c u!

RubberDucky: Hey, what do you get when you cross a brown chicken and a brown cow?

Emmett: wut?

RubberDucky: Brown chicka brown cow!

Emmett: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

VAMPIREDUDE IS ONLINE

VampireDude: Bella, why didn't you tell me you were online?

RubberDucky: Ummm…

Mr. Awesomeness: gtg!

MR. AWESOMENESS HAS LOGGED OFF

VampireDude: What?

RubberDucky: Emmett and I were telling jokes. You wouldn't have enjoyed them.

VampireDude: Try me.

RubberDucky: What do you get when you cross a brown chicken and a brown cow?

VampireDude: Impossible. You can't cross animals unless they're the same species.

RubberDucky: See? I knew you wouldn't appreciate it.

VampireDude: Well, why don't we tell jokes?

RubberDucky: Um…

VampireDude: What is it, Bella?

RubberDucky: I'm sorry, it's just, you're jokes are really corny and they're all about science.

VampireDude: No, they're not! What about this one? Why couldn't the biology teacher marry the physics teacher?

RubberDucky: Why?

VampireDude: There was no chemistry! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

RubberDucky: That wasn't funny.

VampireDude: Yes it was!

RubberDucky: No, it wasn't.

VampireDude: Yes, it was!

ROSEPETAL IS ONLINE

RosePetal: Me, me me me, me me me me me.

ROSEPETAL HAS LOGGED OFF.

VampireDude: Okay…

RUBBERDUCKY HAS LOGGED OFF


End file.
